Monthly Archives: January 2024

Through an Open Window

The single sheet of paper gently flew out of the open window, which rose six stories above the quiet back street. A breeze slipped through the small crack where the window raised above the sill. The loose paper became ensnared by the draft and slid effortlessly out into the air, where it hovered aloft like a condor catching an updraft.

The cold January air mixed with the warm drafts, which emanated from the homes and businesses below, caused a thermal wave, taking the paper soaring across the small town, unnoticed by the few people who walked the streets that blustery day. The paper rose and fell with the drafts, traveling farther and farther from the open window. Like an ill-spoken rumor, it traveled the breadth of the town, dancing from street to street. It finally came to rest near a bench in the small park that lies on the north side of the small city.

Johnathon and Simone walked the park every morning and often sat in the bench to drink coffee and feed the ducks who lived in the nearby stream. As they sipped the warm contents of their cups, Simone noticed the single sheet pf paper wrapped around the wooden leg of the bench.

“What a lovely piece of paper.” she remarked. “It looks as though it might me a letter that became separated from its author.”

Johnathon reached down and untangled it from the bench. “You’re right, dear. It is a letter. Nicely written, but by the looks of it, I’d say it’s been stranded here for a good week.”

He flattened the paper on the bench and brushed away the dirt, which accumulated upon it. “Whomever wrote this had lovely penmanship.” he said, as he turned the paper over to examine the back.

“What does the letter read?” Simone curiously asked.

“I didn’t bring my spectacles.” Johnathon replied as he handed the letter to Simone. “Here. You read it.”

Simone quickly scanned the first side, and then the second. “I do believe it’s some sort of New Year’s resolutions list.”

“What makes you ascertain this?” Johnathon inquired.

The author, whomever he or she was, talks about the previous year, with its many trials and tribulations. Ohhh. This person had a terrible 2023.”

“How’s that?”

“By the looks of the handwriting, I’m going to assume the author was a woman. And according to her words, she had many losses. Losses of friends and loved ones. Losses of material things, and losses of self.”

“Quite sad sounding, indeed.” Johnathon remarked. “Why do you say then that the letter contains resolutions?”

Simone continued as she read. “On the second side, she lists what she is grateful for and what she hopes for the coming year. Her list is humble, yet well arranged.”

Again, Johnathon asked about the contents. Simone read the hopes of the writer.

“She simply wants to find peace and happiness in her life. She wants to have the wherewithal to help others around her. Lastly, she hopes for good health in the coming year and . . .”

“And what?”

“The letter just ends.” Simone stated. “Maybe she just ran out of time. I hope she finds her happiness.”

Johnathon looked up. “Look. Here come the ducks. Let me fetch the bread crumbs.”

Food for Thought

Grant smiled when Betty, his waitress, brought breakfast. Grant, and his friend Horace, came to Frenchy’s Diner often to eat breakfast and share stories. Today was their first breakfast of the new year. Grant arrived on time, but Horace was late. Grant was famished and ordered. “I’m awful hungry this morning.” he told Betty. “Why don’t you bring me a tall stack of hot cakes with chocolate sauce and whipped cream? And throw a side of bacon and some hash browns with them.”

“Sure. Anything else?” inquired Betty.

“Another cup of coffee. And more cream, please.”

Grant was chowing down on his breakfast when Horace arrived. Horace apologized for his lateness, blaming it on Henrietta, the dog, traffic, and the seven emergency vehicles that blocked his street that morning.

“What was the emergency?” Grant asked.

“Fire on Barrel Cactus Drive. No one was hurt, but it sure made a mess of the neighborhood.”

Betty walked up to take Horace’s order. Horace glanced at Grant’s plate and said, “I definitely don’t want what he’s having. I want to live to see 2025.”

“What’s wrong with my food?” Grant quizzed Horace. “It’s quite delicious, and after the party we had last night, and into the morning, I need a little protein to absorb the libations.”

“And grease, and fat, and enough carbs to fuel a marathon runner for a month. I’ll have a bowl of oatmeal, some orange juice, and black coffee, Betty.”

Grant listened to Horace’s order and remarked, “At least I’ll enjoy 2024.”

To that, Horace responded, “I thought you vowed to eat better this year. You’re not getting any younger, and you did put on a few extra pounds last year.”

“I try to eat better, but I’m always confused as to how. They say this and others say that. Who knows what to believe?”

“What are you talking about?” Horace asked. “It’s pretty simple. Just eat sensibly, and don’t eat too much.”

“It’s not that easy.” Grant interrupted. “I tried last year to change my diet. I ate only natural foods. They tasted like cow dung, but I kept with it for a few months. Then I read an article that said most people die of natural causes. So I quit.”

Horace shook his head in disbelief just as Betty brought his order and refilled Grant’s coffee cup. They eat in silence for a couple of minutes. Horace looked up to see Grant wiping bacon grease off his hands. “You know what that fat does to your arteries?” Horace asked. “You’re looking at a one-way ticket to by-pass surgery.”

Grant commented without looking up. “You sure about that? I’ve never heard of a pig dying from a heart attack.”

“You’re not a pig, Grant. At least, not all the time.”

“I’ve tried a bunch or diets. They all promise the same thing. Lose weight, feel better, and instantly appeal to the opposite sex.”

Which of these gimmick diets did you try?” Horace asked.

Grant rattled off a list of diets. “First was the Mediterranean Diet. Wholesome food from Italy and Greece. After a month of eating pizza and drinking Ouzo, I gained ten pounds and woke up a lot with a headache.”

“That’s not what the Mediterranean Diet means.” Horace jumped in. “It’s a lot of grains and seafood.”

Grant took a swig of coffee and continued. “Even seafood is confusing. My doctor said I should eat more seafood. I was good with that until I found out Goldfish Crackers don’t count.”

“Do you ever take anything seriously?” Horace asked.

“I try.” Grant pleaded. “I tried GOLO™. They promised I’d lose weight without worry. The only thing that went low was my bank account. After that, I tried the Paleolithic diet. You know, the one the cavemen followed. Turns out there aren’t many mastodons around to eat.”

“You really buy the stuff they’re selling?” Horace asked Grant.

“Maybe I watch What the Health on Netflix too much. They preached the advantages of the South Beach Diet and the Beverly Hills Diet. I’ve never been to Miami Beach or Beverly Hills, and don’t plan on going to either. They need to have a diet for around here. Maybe the Mesa Mess Diet or the Arizona Starve You to the Bona Diet.”

“Is that it?” Horace inquired.

“No. I even tried cleansing.”

Horace grimaced. “No Shit?” he said.

“At the beginning, yes, but after a while, none at all.”

“You don’t need to follow any of those fads.” Horace replied. “Just eat good food, drink lots of water, and don’t keep going back for thirds. It’s not hard to do.”

“I hear you, Horace. I’ll try harder this year. That’s my resolution. I have one question, though.”

“What’s that?” Horace asked.

“When we go to Suds on Wednesday nights, do we need to drink Lite beer?”

Horace looked Grant in the eyes and replied, “Let’s not get hasty. After all, we still want to enjoy 2024. Right?”